Eventually it gets to that time of night where you an sense how tired you are and you know that you will be dead the next day but you keep doing those random thing using the wifi on you phone. We've all been there. But last night this was different it was so much better. I was talking to the guy that I've known since I was born (I'll call him Will) Admittedly, I did start this conversation but I did as a three-way for me Will and my crush (I'll call him Andy) I sent this first 'breezy' message as 10:30 and Will replied straight away. Andy never joined the conversation because apparently he only uses twitter now.....I guess the whole idea of talking to him didn't quite work out. But this 4 hour long conversation was different..we didn't need to make any sexual jokes or anything about our relationships (or our non-existent relationships) it was just a really easy going conversation. But I don't really know what to do now, I don't want Andy to think that I'm closer to Will than him and I do want to talk to Andy but I don't want to tweet him because that simply isn't private and I don't want to make a fool of myself if it's awkward or he doesn't reply.. etc.
I don't know why I worry so much and right now this seems to be all I ever think about but I guess I just can't help it....I mean, when you've known someone for so long and you know their personality inside out you can't help but worry.. I guess I partly worry simply because I don't want it to be awkward next time I see them.
So I guess for now I'll sit here... exhausted after 2:30am and wonder how suddenly a girl like me can have a conversation with a boy like him. I'm not one of those girls who has heaps of guy friends that they talk to everyday and night. I guess I'll just enjoy my new found friendship for now. WISH ME LUCK!
Underaverage Girl
xxx
Friday, 31 August 2012
Thursday, 30 August 2012
Sinking
please help me! This is just getting pathetic but every time I think about romance and him I fall deeper into the darkness that is denial. I may only be young but I am probably the only girl in my school year that hasn't even had a measly peck. (I don't think the only girls schools helped much) And although I've known him since like forever I can't help but worry. If I start the conversation will he think it's weird given as I seemed to be better friends with the other guy?? Besides, he's never even online unless it's from mobile so it's hard to tell!!! aaaaaaaaaa fingers crossed he doesn't think I'm a pathetic teen girl (he's older than me) OH GOD GET A GRIP!!
Underaverage Girl
xxx
Underaverage Girl
xxx
The real guy
OH MY DAYS!!!! I am uber sorry for not posting in soooo long. To all my real and imaginary viewers I want to say sorry!!! please forgive me? By now you're probably thinking 'wow this girl is just a boy obsessed teen' and tbh, I won't deny it. But this time it's different, this time it's real and I won't even tell you his name (yes it's that deep) So as the familiar sound of Emeli Sande drifts through my cheap headphones from the corner of this laptop I think of him, my friend, and I get tingles. I've known him sine I was young, probably about 4 and until this summer we had never properly talked (weird, right?) but he's the year above and we're finally at that age where age and gender doesn't make things awkward anymore. So we went on holiday with other families too and his best friend is in one of the other families (I've known him since I was a baby). We were like The Three Musketeers but three's a crowd, right?
Any who. It was one night at the start of our holiday when we talked properly for the first time..We were sitting on the beach with our feet in the water and his shirt around my shoulders (the sea breeze was getting to me) and we were having a really in depth conversation, a heart-to-heart so to speak. This would have been completely normal for any other girl my age but I couldn't believe it was me. The thing is, readers, is that I've had a crush on him for as long as I can remember. I thought I had grown out of this ridiculous crush but then I saw his abs...no, I didn't even need to see them, all I needed to see were his caramel eyes and pristine fashion sense. But then again, I think that somewhere deep down I always knew. I mean I wasn't head over heels by any measure but lets just say if we were in the hunger games I wouldn't set out to kill him or trick the government but I would subtly try and protect him.
This issue is when we were having this deep conversation he brought up this girl who is in his year at my school and I can't even tell you how much my heart melted. I had wanted him since I was 6 but this new girl had known him for 1 single school year! It took so much for me not to let my feelings show so I blocked my emotions off and stopped the thoughts from getting to me. Instead I tried to get him to tell me more bout their relationship. All he could say was 'We 're just friends' I managed to find out that he likes her as more than a friend but if I went up to her at school and said that he got with this girl while we were away apparently 'she wouldn't care' oh he has no clue, because being a fellow female I am fully aware that she would most likely be just as gutted as me (but I didn't tell him that) then my older brother came to check on me and our little convo was never the same.
Later I was talking to the other guy friend for ages and he said that we should go to sit on the beach at which point my crush turned around and joking said that he sees lots of chemistry in us and we were probably about to go and get off. This was clearly a very cringey moment for me and the other guy as we have known each other since we were born and were just starting to bond. But before you ask NO nothing happened between us on the beach. But as I write this and my heart sinks a little deeper and my core goes a little softer and tinglier at every stage of this blog I finally wonder if maybe by suggesting that we had chemistry he was jealous?? but I guess he couldn't be because he had other girls on the horizon. Other thinner, prettier, smarter girls that were actually his age.
I haven't actually managed to talk to either of them since the holiday which to be honest really sucks and I find myself constantly checking to see if their online to start a 'breezy' conversation. Sadly I even wait until he's tweeted to tweet so he's more likely to see my tweet and think of me. I know...that's where it just gets desperate.
Apologies for such a long one and such a long wait. I wouldn't be surprised if you all just gave up halfway through but I would love to hear your opinions and I'll try and keep you updated...
Underaverage Girl
xxx
p.s- I think I may change my name so don't be surprised.
Any who. It was one night at the start of our holiday when we talked properly for the first time..We were sitting on the beach with our feet in the water and his shirt around my shoulders (the sea breeze was getting to me) and we were having a really in depth conversation, a heart-to-heart so to speak. This would have been completely normal for any other girl my age but I couldn't believe it was me. The thing is, readers, is that I've had a crush on him for as long as I can remember. I thought I had grown out of this ridiculous crush but then I saw his abs...no, I didn't even need to see them, all I needed to see were his caramel eyes and pristine fashion sense. But then again, I think that somewhere deep down I always knew. I mean I wasn't head over heels by any measure but lets just say if we were in the hunger games I wouldn't set out to kill him or trick the government but I would subtly try and protect him.
This issue is when we were having this deep conversation he brought up this girl who is in his year at my school and I can't even tell you how much my heart melted. I had wanted him since I was 6 but this new girl had known him for 1 single school year! It took so much for me not to let my feelings show so I blocked my emotions off and stopped the thoughts from getting to me. Instead I tried to get him to tell me more bout their relationship. All he could say was 'We 're just friends' I managed to find out that he likes her as more than a friend but if I went up to her at school and said that he got with this girl while we were away apparently 'she wouldn't care' oh he has no clue, because being a fellow female I am fully aware that she would most likely be just as gutted as me (but I didn't tell him that) then my older brother came to check on me and our little convo was never the same.
Later I was talking to the other guy friend for ages and he said that we should go to sit on the beach at which point my crush turned around and joking said that he sees lots of chemistry in us and we were probably about to go and get off. This was clearly a very cringey moment for me and the other guy as we have known each other since we were born and were just starting to bond. But before you ask NO nothing happened between us on the beach. But as I write this and my heart sinks a little deeper and my core goes a little softer and tinglier at every stage of this blog I finally wonder if maybe by suggesting that we had chemistry he was jealous?? but I guess he couldn't be because he had other girls on the horizon. Other thinner, prettier, smarter girls that were actually his age.
I haven't actually managed to talk to either of them since the holiday which to be honest really sucks and I find myself constantly checking to see if their online to start a 'breezy' conversation. Sadly I even wait until he's tweeted to tweet so he's more likely to see my tweet and think of me. I know...that's where it just gets desperate.
Apologies for such a long one and such a long wait. I wouldn't be surprised if you all just gave up halfway through but I would love to hear your opinions and I'll try and keep you updated...
Underaverage Girl
xxx
p.s- I think I may change my name so don't be surprised.
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